This is an odd post to write, and not one that I thought I would be writing for a long long time, but it's time to come clean and tell you about my new man. Yes, you read that right - I have a new man, and no-one is more surprised than me!
If you had told me a couple of months ago that I was about to meet someone I would either have laughed or been really offended that you thought I could move on so soon after losing my dear Peter. Yet here I am, and while I wouldn't exactly say I had moved on I am definitely taking the first steps.
It is a very strange situation to be in, being that Peter is still such an active presence in my life. I still think about him every day - both the happy and the sad memories - and so many of the stories that you exchange while getting to know a new person revolve around Peter.
It has been hard at times reconciling the love I have, and will always have, for Peter with the start of something new, and at first I felt like a bit of a treacherous whore. But if I have learned anything this year it is that life is short and no-one knows what is waiting round the corner so if you stumble across a little happiness you should grasp it with both hands!
I was incredibly nervous about telling people and introducing him to my friends over here, all of whom loved Peter every bit as much as I do and were fiercely loyal to him. I am very pleased to report that every one of them has welcomed New Man, or Doug, as he is more commonly known, into the fold and seem genuinely pleased that I have found someone who is making me happy again.
The toughest people to tell were Peter's family, who I finally told today, and while it must have been a big shock to them they were hugely supportive and also seemed to be happy for me. I cannot thank them enough for the amazing way they received my news.
And so I start the second half of the shittiest year ever with an optimism that I could not have imagined. Not to sound melodramatic, but there were times this year where I felt like I would never truly be happy again. Now I find myself, while still grieving and dealing with the loss of my beloved husband and father, laughing and smiling again. God, it feels good to laugh again!
It takes a special kind of man (or maybe just a crazy one!) to take on a girl with this much baggage, but Doug has been fantastic about giving me the space I need to work through my shit and does not seem intimidated by the fact that Peter is still such a large part of my everyday life. Thank you Doug for ... well ... just generally being awesome!
OK, confession over now. Go back to enjoying your weekend, and I will be in touch again soon x
