Today the world lost another great man, and my beloved father lost his 7 year battle with cancer.
While we knew that his time was coming soon, we thought we still had a few more months with him. In fact, there were times that it felt like he would outlive us all! When he was first diagnosed with colon cancer he was told that he was very lucky to have caught it before it was terminal. He endured a rigorous regime of chemo and radiotherapy and, 5 years later we were delighted when he got the all clear.
Sadly a year later, in January of last year, the cancer was back and he was given two months to live. It is a true testament to my father's determination and, yes, I'll say it, stubbornness that he survived this long!
He never complained about his illness, and much to our frustration would frequently deny anything was wrong with him even when he was clearly in pain.
I wish I could write a fitting tribute to the man who was my rock, my foundation throughout my life. Obviously I am biased, but he was truly one of the greatest men to walk the earth. He was honest, kind, loving, modest, and always there for me even when I may not have deserved it. He was always behind me 100%, pushing me to try harder whenever I doubted myself. He always told me he was proud of me, even when I wasn't entirely sure why.
He was an amazing storyteller, and had a rich catalogue of tales from his decades as a journalist. I wish I had written these stories down as they would have made a book worth reading! He also had an endless supply of the most appalling jokes, and they were still funny even when heard for the 100th time!
He was an amazing storyteller, and had a rich catalogue of tales from his decades as a journalist. I wish I had written these stories down as they would have made a book worth reading! He also had an endless supply of the most appalling jokes, and they were still funny even when heard for the 100th time!
I had hoped to make another trip back to Scotland before he passed, and I had promised my mother that I would be there to help them both at the end, but sadly that was not to be. I do regret this and I am heartbroken that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but there is a selfish part of me that is a little relieved that my last memory of him is not of him dead or dying, but of waving me off on the train in March after my last visit. I have struggled a lot with my memories of my husband's final morning and it is only recently that I have been able to start to remember the Peter I knew and loved rather than the one that died in my arms.
I regret too that I am half way around the world when I should be looking after my mum, but I know she is in good hands with my sister and aunt and her friends, and I will be with her soon and we can grieve together.
I cannot believe that this year has been so cruel as to take the two men I love most in the world from me, and I don't know how this will affect me when the numbness and shock wears off. But I know that, as always, I have the love and support of the best mum ever, a wonderful sister, a legendary team of friends, and a small yappy dog who will get me through this.
Rest in peace, Daddy. I love you always xxx
